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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29292426">Family Shenanigans</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zazminus/pseuds/Zazminus'>Zazminus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Multi, but it's fun i swear, i have no idea what this is, it just doesn't make any sense</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:15:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29292426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zazminus/pseuds/Zazminus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The New Directions have a get together and nothing goes according to plan.</p><p>Not that there was one to begin with.</p><p> </p><p>Everything is just a big mess, God have mercy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Family Shenanigans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This whole fic is chaotic, just bear it with me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>People say life is made up of moments. Special moments, like a wedding or a birth of a child; happy moments, like kissing your crush after the first date or thanking God you didn't fail this math test; proud moments, like when you graduate high school or you finally stand up for yourself and give a new shiner to your number one bully; and simple moments, like when you're just filled with joy because you're finally home or you just ate the world's tastiest hamburger at McDonald’s.</p><p>And then there are moments like this one, when you try to pull out your friend's Golden Retriever from the pool without getting wet or knocking the dog out with the metal tray full of beef steak that you’re holding.</p><p>Because what the hell, that's so random.</p><p>Santana could swear everything was normal and fine an hour ago. In moments like this, she regrets inviting everybody over, because wow, hell looks like a luxus suite compared to what her house looks like now. And if one thing can be said about the New Directions, it's that they don't clean up after themselves.</p><p>Things started to get out of hand when Rachel decided to try out that spicy BBQ sauce, because it always starts with her, doesn't it?</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, could you pass me that?" Rachel asked and Mercedes looked back at her like she was crazy.</p><p>"Girl, this stuff is spicy and you almost cried the last time you ate those wasabi chips."</p><p>Rachel scoffed and pointed at Tracy, Kurt and Blaine's five year old daughter, who very happily chewed on her own sandwich, not caring about the fact that it was covered in hot sauce.</p><p>"I refuse to accept that a five year old has bigger hot sauce tolerance than me. I experienced the pros and cons of childbirth, this should be nothing."</p><p>Mercedes sighed and handed her the sauce reluctantly. "Don't tell me I didn't warn you."</p><p>And that is how Rachel ended up in the kitchen, begging for Santana to bring her some milk because her throat was on fire. The Latina spent the next 10 minutes mocking and making jokes about her, until her wife scolded her for being mean and Santana shut her mouth immediately, because she was capital W Whipped.</p><p>Things quieted down after that and everyone went back to what they were originally doing. Sam and Mike played a very intense game of volleyball against Brittany and Blaine, Tina, Kurt and Mercedes chatted about the latest celebrity gossips while casually eating those cheese rolls Kurt had made. Quinn just excused herself and went to find the bathroom while Puck was busy with the grill as he flipped over the steaks and the tofu something Rachel requested. Santana was getting her tan on and the afore mentioned Broadway star read a book while looking adoringly at her husband, Jesse, who played with their son in the pool. All the other kids were running around, playing with Elvis (Sam's new dog) or begging Artie to roll them around in the garden with his wheelchair, except the Chang twins who were happy with just sitting in their mother's lap and let their crazy aunts and uncles scrunch their cute little faces together.</p><p>That is, until hell broke loose again.</p><p>"Dammit!" Puck yelled as he abruptly pulled his hand back from the warm surface of the grill and hissed.</p><p>"Okay, first of all, that is a dollar for the swear jar, we don't talk like that in front of the kids, and second of all, what the hell were you thinking touching that thing with bare hands?" Santana asked, sitting up from her deck chair.</p><p>"And that's a dollar for you, too, babe. Sorry, rules are rules!" Brittany shrugged and smiled at her wife.</p><p>"Wait, what? What did I say? Since when is hell a bad word?"</p><p>"Since forever, duh."</p><p>"It is not."</p><p>"But it is." </p><p>"Is not."</p><p>"It is!"</p><p>"I love how they argue like an old married couple," Tina whispered to Kurt while trying to balance two kids on her knees. He laughed and pointed at Puck, whose brilliant idea for treating first-degree burns was putting his hands in the pool.</p><p>"That must hurt."</p><p>Tina nodded and looked around, searching for a certain blonde. "Yeah, someone should check on that. Quinn? Quinn! Your boyfriend hurt himself!"</p><p>An oblivious Quinn just walked out of the house, holding a tray in her hands and she literally dropped it on the grass as she realized what had happened and ran to his boyfriend. Of course, Elvis made it his mission to eat all of the meat from the ground before anyone could pick them up.</p><p>"Oh, no," Blaine whispered as he saw the glint in the dog's eyes. "Someone better make a run for that tray."</p><p>"On it!" Sam said, but it was too late. No one could outrun a Golden Retriever.</p><p>Elvis was like a wild animal as he ran through the garden, his eyes fixed on the target. He jumped through the mudcastle Valerie and his brother, Diego, had built much to their mothers' dismay, he bounced his way through anyone who tried to stop him, he also hopped in Artie's lap, like he was just another barrier between him and the desired slice of meat. At this point none of them would be surprised if he just did a back flip and a triple axel.</p><p>"Stop him!" Sam yelled.</p><p>"What do you think we're doing?" Mercedes yelled back as she caught the damned dog, but only for a millisecond, because Elvis somehow found a way out of her strong grasp.</p><p>"Damn that dog!"</p><p>Brittany made a run for the tray instead, doing what everyone else was supposed to do in the first place, because no matter what anyone thought, she had the biggest brain of them all.</p><p>"1 dollar for the swear jar!"</p><p>"Babe, I love you, but you seriously need to get your priorities straight," Santana said as she grabbed her son and picked him up, before Elvis could run through him, too. Diego crawled onto her, clearly being terrified of the dog who just destroyed half of his precious mudcastle.</p><p>"You of all people should know that it is physically impossible for me to do anything straight!"</p><p>Artie wheeled over to Mike, they were too far away from the events to help with anything, but at least they could enjoy the show.</p><p>"Is Brittana for real right now?" he asked.</p><p>"I don't know, man, I'm so lost..." Mike just stared and laughed, this was the most hilarious thing he had seen in a while.</p><p>Meanwhile Elvis was already chewing on his prey happily, when Sam finally caught up with him, but he wasn't having it. He growled and gritted his teeth at his owner who tried to approach him sneakily.</p><p>"That's enough, buddy."</p><p>Brittany lifted up the remains of a once great and not-so-grassy beef steak and took a bite of it. At least it was still edible. Elvis looked around, seeking for a way out and he found one.</p><p>The pool.</p><p>He slowly lowered his head, like he regretted eating this delicious treat, and walked towards Sam with drooping ears and guilty puppy eyes. It was all a play of course, because as soon as he was close enough, he bypassed Sam and run straight to the pool.</p><p>Or more like into it.</p><p>Jesse just had about enough time to pull his unsuspecting son out of the way as the dog splashed into the water.</p><p>"Oh my God, get him out of there!" Rachel exclaimed.</p><p>"The kid or the dog?"</p><p>"Both!"</p><p>Elvis waggled his tail, enjoying all the attention he was getting as he went in deeper to the pool, daring his human counterparts to follow him. Santana could swear he was doing it on purpose and just wanted to annoy the hell out of her.</p><p>"Oh, no me gusta! Sam get that dirty animal out of my pool before I do something I regret!"</p><p>"See! This is why I love cats!" her wife jogged over to her, lifting Diego out of Santana's arms, so she could help Sam with Elvis.</p><p>"Do you want another one?" she asked in her fake-cute love-dovey way, holding a piece of meat in her hands. His eyes widened as his body fought an inner war against her mind, but the body won and he started swimming towards Santana.</p><p>"Or do you want a full tray of it, buddy?" Sam waved a whole dinner for four people before his dog's eyes.</p><p>"You're confusing him, Fish Lips. Why don't you make yourself useful and see if that mouth of yours is working in the water instead, like a real fish? You're chasing him from the pool right into Auntie Snixxx's loving arms. He will beg for mercy. And give me that tray for God's sake!"</p><p>So yeah... There were crazy moments when she was near these people she somehow learned to love and call family. Didn't mean she couldn't hate them every once in a while.</p><p>After the dog rescue (and making sure Elvis wouldn't run away again), they all settled down to eat. Everyone thought the drama was over.</p><p>They couldn't have been more wrong.</p><p>"Something's burning..." Mercedes stated.</p><p>"Dammit, Puck! You left the grill on!" Tina noticed and pointed at the fair amount of burned meat on the stove.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I was in the middle of treating a first-degree burn!" </p><p>Kurt sat next to his husband and sighed. "Let's adjourn our plans about getting a dog for Tracy okay?" </p><p>"Yeah, I agree. Let's get her a brother instead."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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